3 min read

Writing again

Writing again
Photo by Jon Tyson / Unsplash

It has been 52 days since I last published on the View from JQ, and one of my last posts was about how writing was becoming less fun. Leading up to my wedding, I loved writing here. There were so many exciting events happening in my life between learning at work, planning my wedding and training for a half-marathon, and I loved having a place to capture it all.

At some point in March, life became less fun. I hurt my foot and wasn't able to run anymore, which meant I missed both of the half-marathons I signed up for. My trainer, Genaro, left Google, and strength training became less enjoyable. We came back from our wedding, and shortly after, my father-in-law passed away, which was an emotional rollercoaster. Work also became increasingly frustrating for various reasons, and I started to feel burned out.

When I started this blog, I said that my reasons to write were to remember, think and connect. None of these recent events were fun to think about, nor did I want to remember or talk about them, so I just stopped. I kept thinking about coming back here, since for months, writing had been a way for me to find sunshine, but the thought of writing became burdensome.

Today, I decided I want to write again, prompted by an old email I found in my inbox. It was the email I sent that to my mentor (who is now my skip-skip level), and it led me to my current job. The email read:

Subject: Interest in UberTL position

Hope you are doing well! 

I saw a posting for an Uber TL position on your team.

The role sounded really interesting to me, and I think that I could be a good candidate given my experiences building developer tools on the Go team. At the same time, I recognize that it is for an L7 position, and I’m not sure whether I would qualify as an L6.

I put some time on your calendar to chat on Wednesday during your office hours to learn a bit more about the role and what you are looking for. If it’s not a good fit, I’d also love to hear your thoughts on what kinds of roles you think might be a better fit for me at this time. 

Hope that is okay with you, and look forward to talking to you soon!

Julie

I still remember how scared I was to send this email. I thought that my mentor would laugh in my face, and I was embarrassed to even ask her if it was okay for me to apply. I remember thinking that I didn't want to sell myself short, but also it might be wrong to even ask, considering I was just a newly promoted L6.

I sent this email on May 22, 2023. Fast-forward a year, I have grown so much. I went from being terrified of emailing Directors, to regularly meeting with them and feeling comfortable speaking my mind. I now give presentations to VPs and above, and it has just become a normal part of my job. I used to care so much about what everyone else thought about me, and I constantly worried that I was doing something wrong. I still have my moments of doubt, but I'm proud of who I've become since sending that email.

Reflecting on the past year also made me think about how far I've come with exercise. This time last year I was dead-lifting around 150 lbs, and just the other week, I was able to easily dead-lift 205 lbs. I had run only one 5K before, and it was a virtual race, and I was terrified to show up to my 10K. While I've had to take a step back from running the last couple of months, it's wild to think that I ran 9.21 miles in April.

And while our wedding is over, settling into married life has been fun. We have found new ways to stay connected and prioritize our relationship. I've also started a new hobby of Monday night trivia with my friends.

Change and growth is not always fun. It requires stepping outside of our comfort zones, and often it feels like failing, moving backwards, and spinning around in circles. However, writing about my journey along the way lets me appreciate where these challenges eventually take me. In the long run, I do believe that I'm spinning forward, and I love that writing lets me see that journey for myself.

I'd like to try and write every day again, and embrace those good enough posts. We'll see how that goes!