Two versions of an email

Here are two ways to write an email.

The first was written from a place of wanting to people please and seek approval:

Hey everyone,

I wanted to share an update on how I'm thinking through strategy.

Here's an initial draft, along with next steps. This is an early draft, and feedback is appreciated and welcomed. Feel free to leave comments in the document. I'll comment async while I'm traveling next week, and schedule follow up meetings when I'm back.

The second was written from a place of being assertive, while still wanting to collaborate and gather feedback from others:

Hey everyone,

I'm developing our strategy, and planning out the steps we'll take to execute.  Please take a look and leave comments in the document. I will be out next week, and will follow up when I'm back.